These apps don’t get it. I want to have a ‘crush’ on someone and that is not possible unless they’re someone already in my life by happenstance and then I get obsessed with them for no reason. You don’t get that with a app because suddenly you’re on a ‘date’ having ‘drinks’. Like no sorry I don’t want to talk to you about my relationship history I want to look at you in a group setting and make up things about you in my head. Ok?
The thing is is like. I don’t enjoy dating the way I see other people enjoying dating because fundamentally what I find like fun and exciting is having an established dynamic with someone i.e. friend/coworker(bad idea)/passing academic acquaintance etc and then having that dynamic change through a series of rube goldberg machine-esque interactions. Like please somebody help me understand where the fun is in just going and being automatically In A Dynamic with someone and there’s no change there’s no transformation
The only two people who I feel really understand what I meant here
what a beautiful thing, to be queer. how lovely it is to be strange, to have edges that spill out over the lines, to be undefinable. the oddity of our hearts is something to be treasured. never change for anyone.
